Big Fat Hairy Living

A christian "ex-gay" (just give him a while; he’ll be back) starts a blog and writes about reconciling something-or-other with an invisible sky creature blah blah blah, and someone named Patricia comments:

I suspect if there was a movement to label greed or gossip or lying “good” and to celebrate such practices and to celebrate those who openly engage in them, there would be strong resistance from the Christian element to that as well. And if there were curriculums being introduced in the schools that taught that such behaviours were normal and to be admired and nutured, (and maybe even that taught the correct techniques for lying and gossipping, etc.), and if there was an annual parade during which gossips and liars and greedy folks were hailed and honoured, well, I think you might even get Christians protesting in the streets! And if there was a statue erected in memorial to someone who was remarkable for no other reason than that he was a liar, it might even inspire a few outraged letters to the editor! ;-)

While my example is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, it’s probably not entirely far fetched, for I think more and more we’re seeing sin being called good.

I’ll ignore her comments about Alexander Wood, because someone who claims (by analogy, of course, providing plausible deniability should she be called on it) that he was “remarkable for no other reason” than his persecution for being perceived as gay is ignorant. Ignorant in the descriptive sense of the word, not the pejorative sense.

This must be the first false analogy taught in Sunday school because so many christians seem to use it. Do I really have to explain how lying and gossip are completely different from consensual sex? If I lie to someone or gossip about a neighbour, that affects those people. If I suck my boyfriend’s dick in my bedroom, that affects nobody but me and him. I can even be completely gay without sucking my boyfriend’s dick, and then it won’t even affect my boyfriend.

A better analogy would be to pick some other kind of christian sin, like worshipping a false god. Someone who worships a false god affects nobody but herself, so it’s a much better analogy:

I suspect if there was a movement to worship false Hindu “gods” and to celebrate such practices and to celebrate those who openly worship in them, there would be strong resistance from the Christian element to that as well. And if there were curriculums being introduced in the schools that taught that such behaviours were normal and to be admired and nutured, (and maybe even that taught the correct techniques for worshipping, etc.), and if there was an annual parade during which Hindu gods were hailed and honoured, well, I think you might even get Christians protesting in the streets! And if there was a statue erected in memorial to someone who was remarkable for no other reason than that he was a Hindu god, it might even inspire a few outraged letters to the editor! ;-)

Ooh, this is fun!

Someone better tell Patricia about all those Diwali celebrations last fall. I think she needs to start writing some letters to the editor to combat this horrible “sin” as being labelled good.

Total, complete nutcase.

In reponse to the post I wrote about on that Albertan political blog, commenter Jon-Jon Currie writes

If you think two men in leather are common representatives of gay people, then I suppose that participants on The Surreal Life or some other sensational “reality” show are representatives of heterosexuals. The fringe does not represent the mainstream, and most gay people aren’t nearly that flamboyant or that fetishized or that … interesting, really. Just like heterosexuals love their wacky entertainers and celebrities, gay people have their envelope-pushing sensationalists. I’ve never dressed in drag or leather in my life, and neither have the vast majority of gay people I know. We certainly know how to dress and behave at a wedding, since so many of us are tailors and florists and priests, if the stereotypes that heteros promote about us are to be believed.

How small-minded and short-sighted, to point and one unusual couple of men in harnesses and try to use that to describe someone relatively ordinary like me. How … sensationalist.

Not that the truth will change the minds of people in the throes of homo-hysteria, but it just isn’t true what you’re claiming.

His comment reads to me almost as though he’s apologizing for “gay people” who are “flamboyant” and “fetishized.”

I’m always wary of this type of reasoning. It sounds uncomfortably similar to the kind of comments I’ve heard in the past from self-loathing queers who object to Pride parades because they’re “sensationalist.” “Why can’t there be more normal gays in these parades? How come everyone has to be dressed in leather and drag? It just gives ammunition to the religious right!”

You know what? People who hate us will hate us no matter what, no matter how “normal” we behave. Every one of us could stop having sex, stop kissing or holding hands in public, stop wearing drag or leather, and marry into a monogamous relationship and they’d still hate us.

Every gay person owes their freedom to flamboyant, fetishized, unusual, envelope-pushing sensationalists. Respect the drag queen and the leatherman, kids. They’re your mommy and your daddy.

The Amazing Wonderdog writes:

The thought of two men kissing each other passionately makes me cringe. When I read a blog like Big Fat Hairy Living, I find myself involuntarily squirming in discomfort at such phrases as “the guys aren’t my usual type, but they’re hot, muscular, [and] naked.” I find it just, well, icky. “Repulsive” works, if you want to go shopping for words.

So I can understand why some people are so vehemently opposed to gay marriage, why people simply feel that something about this is, well, wrong - and it’s why I feel that I’m not vilifying anyone by accusing Stephen Harper of pandering to the homophobe vote.

But there’s a difference between me and the people Harper is pandering to: I recognize that this is my problem, and mine alone.

…

So, when Bill C-38 passes today, as it surely will, I will choose to be happy. I will be happy that a group that has been vilified and persecuted in the past has been granted equality, and I will be happy for all the gay people I’ve known in the imaginary world of blogs and in real life. I’ll come to any wedding I’m invited to, and celebrate.

I’ll do that because I know that I’m not perfect, and that my reactions are my problem. Tolerance is not a matter of having no qualms; if it were, we wouldn’t call it “tolerance.” It’s a matter of putting aside your qualms and recognizing that you cannot impose them on others.

I encourage others to put aside theirs, and join in celebrating the passage of Bill C-38 as a milestone for equality and justice.

If only more straight people were as open-minded and honest with themselves as The Amazing Wonderdog.

Oh no! Scary people who look different can get married now!

Someone else on the same group blog says that maybe that post is unncessarily inflammatory, and the responses pour in:

I suppose I could have included a photo of two men or women french-kissing publicly or guys wearing short-shorts. This is probably one of the least inflammatory photographs available.

Why do people want to whitewash “Gay Pride”, and pretend it is some sort of cute cultural curiosity to bring the kids to? It is in-your-face promotion of gay sex, pure and simple.

And at least maybe now that this debate is on hiatus for the summer they will stop showing the video of those guys kissing every time they talk about it on the news.

This bill is nothing more than the flagrant advocation of gay sex and the volatile lifestyle these people lead. I lived in Vancouver’s West End and worked as an RN at St. Paul’s hospital. I have never worked with or lived alongside a more emotionally volatile and mixed up group of people! My brother is also gay and he suffers severe mood swings.

I was a naive prairie girl who ended up living on Davie Street in a predominately homosexual apartment complex. I learned to never leave my “sexy black lingerie” unattended in the washer or dryer. More often than not, it was stolen and I had to knock on several doors to track it down.

I will absolutely support Mr. Harper or any other politician that dedicates his party to overthrowing the evil that is [same-sex marriage]!!

Got a problem with the bondage gear? Tell it to the people who wear it as representatives of the gay community. Not us. Frankly, it’s an example of some of the more timid ‘gear’ on display.

Selected comments elsewhere on the same blog:

Too bad this bill comes too late for Karla Homolka or she could have married Lynda Veronneau, her prison lover like she wanted to.

Interesting that the ‘progresssives’ are in support of the same-sex ‘rights’. Try a little experiment: do a search on homosexual and lifespan. One site I visited said that only 2% of homosexuals live past age 65. This is AFTER factoring OUT AIDS and STD’s.

I’m fed up with this sh*t. I’m fed up with this country. NOTHING IS SACRED ANYMORE. EVERYTHING HAS BEEN PENETRATED BY LEFT WING EVIL!

Because, you know, society has been crumbling since same-sex marriage was allowed in Ontario two years ago, what with those scary men kissing and sick people in hospitals who act sick. Thefts of black lingerie have skyrocketed! NOTHING IS SACRED ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These are the best minds conservatism has to offer.

My apartment is like a Goodwill box. It collects articles of clothing whenever people visit. Among the clothing that is not mine is a collection of seven swimming suits in sizes from medium to extra extra large, two T-shirts, an Eddie Bauer shirt, and a pair of underwear. I don’t remember whose underwear they are, but they fit me nicely.

Shopping for home decor stuff is an appropriate way to express Gay Pride.

There were lots of cubbis at the Kitchen Stuff Plus warehouse outlet and they were only $20.

Last night Mark and I were sitting on the steps in front of Out on the Street when a drunk straight woman walked up to us. “Are you guys bears?” she slurred. We told her that, yes, we were. “OK,” she said, satisfied, and kept on walking.

A few minutes later, a handsome older man introduced himself to me. He’s been reading this blog for months and recognized me sitting on the steps. I had no amusing anecdotes to tell him. I always feel so much less witty in person than on the computer.

I’ve been NOW Magazined in their list of “Smart and sexy queer blogs.” Welcome, NOW Magazine readers!