Big Fat Hairy Living

The Toronto Star has a page with reader comments on the latest Catholic pronouncement that priests shouldn’t give communion to politicians who pass laws that violate church teaching. About halfway down is the following comment:

Holding the equivalent of a religious sword of Damocles over peoples’ heads will only alienate them further from the church and its doctrines. I’m sure modern, secular governments such as our own will look upon these threats with little more than bemusement. The Vatican’s day of interfering with the world’s governments has long since passed, and obviously they didn’t get the memo.
Shawn Sintzel, Toronto, Sept. 30

Now I know someone famous! Does that make me famous by association?

Toronto Hydro is having a program for people who live in the City of Toronto. Just show up at Home Depot at the right day and time with ID and proof of residence, and you can pick up two compact fluorescent bulbs completely free of charge. The program ends October 30.

Mark and I picked up our bulbs today. According to Toronto Hydro, if every household in Toronto replaced two incandescent bulbs with two fluorescent bulbs, the reduction in electricity use would be enough to power Orillia and Stratford on an average day.

By now I’m sure we’ve all seen the magazine cover with hot bears Owen and Dave kissing each other. The comments on Fark.com are predictably lame, but one of them’s unintentionally hot: someone says “It looks my dad making out with his reflection,” as if that’s a bad thing.

The interview yesterday went fairly well. The interviewer, the director of the division I’d be working in, seemed to like some of my answers, but I couldn’t judge how he reacted to others. He talked an awful lot and I did a lot of smiling and nodding, but I did get the impression that management at the company is a lot more intelligent than management at my former employer.

After I finished the interview, I spoke to the headhunter to tell him how it went. He asked me again what my salary and vacation entitlement was at my former company, explaining that he’d lost his notes about me in an office move. Given that he also talks to the interviewer after the interview, my prospects can’t be all bad if he’s basically asking how much money I want.

I e-mailed a thank-you note to the interviewer, because I assumed the company would be making its decision soon and I wanted the note to get to him as quickly as possible. I got a response from him today that thanked me for the note and wished me luck and told me “We will be reviewing your application among others in the next week or so. We will advise you of our findings.”

What? A week or two? These bitches have given me three interviews and a personality test over a period of almost two months and now they’re telling me that it will take a week “or so” to give me an answer? What could there possibly be to figure out after three interviews and a personality test? If they don’t know yet who they want, how will they decide? What the fuck kind of operation is this?

Luckily I don’t require my employer to be competent. I only require it to pay me regularly.

The headhunter who got me my first and second interviews with the company in Scarberia just called me to tell me I have interview number three on Tuesday with the Director of the Telecom division. Apparently he’s very thorough and will be going over my personality test results with me, among other things. I wonder what the personality test said, because it certainly couldn’t have said that I’m hard working.

I’m really nervous. I’ve got butterflies in my stomach and my heart’s beating really fast.

I downloaded a big ZIP file of “chub” video clips from a gay porn site the other day. All of them were absolutely shitty. Some of them, though, aren’t just shitty, they’re shitty and annoying.

• klaus_01: If you’re going to jerk off for us, please take off your clothes first. And edit out the part where you shuffle out of the chair with your pants around your ankles. And please don’t stuff your shit haphazardly into your drawers.
• 2chubz: I know that nothing can get me to flip my legs up in the air like Grover Washington! Hawt!
• imcum: Could somebody please, please explain to me how this man can listen to that while he jerks off?

All clips are in Windows Media format and are not safe for work. You need to turn up the volume to appreciate these clips.

The Toronto Star:

If size matters, the senior football team at Trinity College School has an offensive line for the ages. In fact, the five starting linemen at the private boarding school in Port Hope are believed to be one of the biggest in provincial high school history. They are so big — an average of 273 pounds — they nearly match up with the defending Grey Cup-champion Toronto Argonauts of the Canadian Football League.

The article has quotes from Jude St. John (6′ 3″ tall, 309 pounds) and Chris Schultz (6′ 8″ tall (!), 290 pounds). Jude St. John:

And look at that ass:

Drool.

Number 16 isn’t wearing a jock, and apparently he’s quite well-endowed.

Blogger John Scalzi wrote a piece on being poor that many people have linked to. Here’s just a taste:

Being poor is not taking the job because you can’t find someone you trust to watch your kids.
Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.
Being poor is hoping you’ll be invited for dinner.
Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.
Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.
Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually stupid.

Of course, it didn’t take long for a someone (from Alberta, predictably) to start blaming the poor for not working their way out of poverty:

Staying poor is a result of becoming too reliant on others …
Staying poor is a result of being unwilling to learn new things …
Staying poor is a result of refusing to accept the consequences of your actions …
Staying poor is a result of cowardice …
Staying poor is a result of not using your imagination …
Staying poor is a result of having a bad attitude …
Staying poor is a result of dishonesty …
Staying poor is a result of laziness …

I’m starting my own version:

• Being conservative is complaining that the poor are getting a sweet deal because they pay so little in taxes.
• Being conservative is thinking that people on social assistance don’t deserve the money because they haven’t worked for it, but thinking that children of rich parents still deserve their inheritances even if they haven’t worked for it.
• Being conservative is thinking that, despite the fact that there’s only one Terry Fox, one Ray Charles, and one Stephen Hawking, everyone can be as great as them if they just got off their asses and worked hard enough.

Feel free to join in by adding your own suggestions!