Big Fat Hairy Living

According to NOW Magazine, the Superstore at Maple Leaf Gardens might not happen after all:

…Maple Leaf Gardens might still be saved from Loblaws turning memories of Mahovlich into a new dipping sauce for barbecued chicken.

The reason for this hope is simply that, well, nothing’s happened on the College and Church site. It’s been three years since Loblaw bought the hockey shrine from Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment and heralded the imminent arrival of a Superstore with a huge sign, which is still hanging.

And while city councillor and Superstore gung-ho guy Kyle Rae insists things are going ahead as planned, the company appears to be reconsidering its plans for a shopping colossus – tantalizing hockey lovers who once lobbied to save the rink.

Yes, because a hockey arena that is used a few nights a week would be so much better than a grocery store complete with storefronts on Carlton and Church Streets. Who wouldn’t want to have their street invaded by hockey hosers and their big-haired wives invading their neighbourhood a few times a week? Who wouldn’t want a large, mostly-unused blank building in their neighbourhood? Because once a building goes up, it can never be used for anything different.

Of course, this Andrew Cash guy probably lives nowhere near the neighbourhood. If he did, he’d know that Maple Leaf Gardens is on Carlton Street, not College Street. College Street does not exist east of Yonge. Maybe NOW magazine should get someone who cares about the neighbourhood to write about it.

Why am I here at work when I could be having sex instead? I could be having a threesome with Mark fucking my mouth and a beefy fat-cocked uncut muscle daddy eating my ass, but instead I’m at work calculating what size tiny pieces of copper need to be. Why is there no justice in this universe?

The only thing I don’t like about it Pride is the fact that it has to end. Remember in grade ten english class when you were studying Shakespeare and the teacher taught you about pathetic fallacy, when events in nature are ascribed emotions that mirror happenings in the human world? That’s what’s happening today. It’s pouring rain outside.

The parade started off with people marching for those who can’t march because they’re imprisoned or beaten for being gay: people in places like Saudi Arabia, Iran, Pakistan, the Congo, and China. Unfortunately, despite the advances we’ve made here in Canada, we’ve still got a lot to do. The bigots still hate us and still foam at the mouth at the idea that we make ourselves visible for just one day of the year.

Some quotes from the bigotsphere:

• Miller and Blair rode in the parade , as well as Jack Layton and Olivia Chow. Are there no laws to arrest Leaders for acts of treason agaisnt Canada, they all get public money and last year Miller paid back Kyle Rae’s Gay Votes by starting a annual “Grant” for the tourism family event. Politicians or leaders should not be promoting a quasi-pedophilia event on a public street where naked males will flaunt their penis in front of little boys as part of a recruitment campaign for Internet Kiddie-porn and child stalking.
• Miller and his Puppet Chief Blair are a pathetic couple of hollow men pretended to be fighters for children’s right and stopping Kiddie-porn and internet stalking , yet they ride in a parade that promotes pedophilia and Aids .
• Indeed, Toronto has become a cess-pool where depravity is endorsed and supported. Very sad day.
• I refused to watch or read any news coverage of this disgusting event. It seems the parade and the associated festivities get bigger and more perverted every year and in my eyes, will never even come close to legitimizing this lifestyle.
• How did this filth become accepted and right? It makes me ashamed of our country, it really does.
• …. just a few hundred more cases of AIDS to add to the healthcare cost list , after this weekend’s arse-fest.

And more:

• I’m pretty sure the homo-fascist organisers of Toronto’s beloved “pride” week, put everyone on notice to present it as cheerfully as possible, or face the savage wrath of Dougy Elliott and Martha McCarthy.
• My Christmas Wish List :
  Nuke The CBC
  Nuke The Gay Pride Parade.
  Ho Ho Ho …
• Yay, Toronto! Happy Gay Pervert Day! Woohoo! * barf *
• Wouldn’t female mounties be offended by the implication of these two peter-puffers holding a sign “the mounties always get their man”?

And more:

• Children’s Aid and Teachers floats? That is really symptomatic of a society that places little value on its children.
• As me no dhimmi and vitruvius have pointed out, these parades have become socialist propaganda events, where socialism publicizes its value system. The socialist value system is a statist system and focused on group homogeneity.
• Man, every time I read the phrase “Pride Parade” or “Pride Week” it gives me the creeps. It’s as if the English language were a doll in a horror movie that’s just spun its head through 720 degrees.
• I mean really, where else will you find the bull dykes consorting with the faeries, the pre and post op transgendered swapping spit freely, the catchers given equal footing with the pitchers, the bus depot washroom crowd celebrated for spreading the word and the elder statesmen from NAMBLA volunteering their time to give guidance to the youth.
• It is time to put sodomy back on the books as a crime. You used to get 14 years for it, now you dance in the strets to flaunt it to all the “breeders”. Time to send these sickos back to where they belong.
• And what about having a straight pride parade? Surely there’s some straight folks out there who would like to organize them? Why not?

And I could go on and on:

• Let’s go worship tomorrow and pray for those who “gaily” strut about when what is vile is honoured among men.
• Men will dress like Barbies and women will expose themselves so that the rest of us can learn to accept their normal behaviour … We move closer to Corinth every year. That is why I am so glad I am here with the Gospel of Jesus Christ that says sexual perversion of any [kind] is sin.

On Sunday afternoon, I saw a man walking through the crowds carrying a ten foot tall sign reading “Homosexuality are a SIN, JESUS is the solution.” He had to be escorted from the jeering crowd by at least four police officers. We’ve still got a lot of work to do.

It’s Saturday morning, and I’m well-rested and not hung over. The only thing I drank last night was club soda. Can it really be Pride?

Oh yeah, it is. Let’s go to hell, baby!

I’d read a bit about the movie CSA: The Confederate States of America so I dragged Mark to see it last night. I’d been expecting an alternate history, but the movie is not so much an alternate history as it is an incredibly biting satire.

The film takes the form of a special television broadcast of a controversial documentary from the United Kingdom. The documentary, entitled “CSA: The Confederate States of America,” is being broadcast uncensored for the first time, showing an outside view of the history of the Confederate States of America from its victory in the “War of Northern Aggression” until the present.

The film presents a history where the south won the Civil War with the help of Britain and France, defeating the United States. After the war, the CSA institutes slavery nationwide and moves on to conquer all of Latin and South America. Canada becomes the great enemy of the CSA, a land of freedom where Susan B. Anthony leads the fight for suffrage and where a century later, Elvis Presley popularizes the subversive Canadian music known as “rock and roll.” The broadcast is interrupted by jarring commercials for products such as Niggerhair cigarettes, Sambo motor oil, Darkie toothpaste, and Coon Chicken Inn, a restaurant chain.

Confederacy buffs and alternate history geeks on the internet have gotten themselves into a hissy fit, complaining cluelessly the movie is implausible and inaccurate. Complaining that the movie somehow wrongly depicts the Civil War as having been only about slavery misses the point; in fact the misconception that slavery was the only reason behind the Civil War is directly addressed in the movie. One of the most haunting parts of the film is footage of a rare interview of Abraham Lincoln just before his death in 1905. From his home in exile in Montreal, Lincoln laments that he didn’t truly care about slaves and wonders how things might have turned out if only he’d cared about freedom more than maintaining power for northern industrial interests. “I’m a negro now,” he says.

Lincoln did win the war, of course, and in the real world, he never expressed regret over not caring for true freedom for the “freed” slaves. But while the south lost the war, they won at least a partial cultural victory; slavery might have been outlawed, but African Americans didn’t get anything resembling legal equality until the mid 1960s.

It’s only at the end of the movie that it’s revealed that those jarring ads for products with racist names are all based on real products and services, some of which were sold as late as the 1980s. After the movie, Mark told me that he remembers seeing a Sambo restaurant in Virginia in the 1960s.

That’s the real point of the movie. The movie the question asks isn’t really “What if the South had won the war?” By showing us what might have happened if the South had defeated the North, the movie forces us to wonder “Did the South lose the war?”

Clarification: Commenter murderingmouth explains that the name of the “Sambo’s” restaurants actually comes from the names of its two founders. According to CNN, the restaurant chain embraced the famous “Little Black Sambo” story in some of its marketing materials.

He’s 6′3″ tall, weighs 283 pounds, and is only 20 years old. And straight.

But why is he wearing underwear?

Meet the Brady Bears, a polyamorous family of flannel and leather!

Part of me wants to hate it and part of me wants to love it. They’re all cute, but too bad none of them can sing.

My trip to New Hampshire was uneventful.

I flew in with two colleagues on Sunday night and returned to Toronto Monday night. There was just enough time on Sunday night to travel to downtown Nashua for dinner before heading back to the hotel to sleep. The business meetings were about as interesting as I’d expected, though I felt kind good listening to the technical discussions. The guy who’s been doing what I do for 30 years does things the same way I do. Maybe I’m not incompetent after all?

New Hampshire seemed nice enough: it was filled with trees, federal-style houses, and white people. I wish I’d had time to fuck around with some sluts, because there were tons of ruddy-faced Irish looking piglets wandering around the airport.

From the Globe and Mail:

A U.S. congressman warned yesterday that Canada, and in particular the enclave of “South Toronto,” was a breeding ground for Islamic terrorists and that the United States will be under threat as long as passports are not required of all Canadians crossing the border.

“South Toronto, like those parts of London that are host to the radical imams who influenced the 9/11 terrorists and the shoe bomber, has people who adhere to a militant understanding of Islam,” said John Hostettler, chairman of the House of Representatives subcommittee on immigration and border security, noting that Toronto has a very large South Asian community.

Later, when asked by reporters to describe “South Toronto” in greater detail, Mr. Hostettler said it was “a location which I understand is the type of enclave that allows for this radical type of discussion to go on.”

South Toronto? What is that supposed to be, Queen’s Quay or something? Lake Shore Boulevard?