Big Fat Hairy Living

My new sofa has arrived. It’s much sexier than my old one. Everyone must now suck my sofa’s cock. It’s underneath, so it’s hard to get at, but it’s worth it. It’s huge.

I have already had several decorgasms today.

Obesity is contagious, say American researchers:

U.S. researchers have found that obesity can spread through a network of friends, just like the common cold or a penchant for a new style of jeans.
The study, released today in the New England Journal of Medicine, is the first to show that obesity is socially contagious and can spread from person to person to person.

After analyzing the health data collected from more than 12,000 people over 32 years, the researchers found a person’s chance of becoming obese increased by 57 per cent if someone they considered a friend became obese. That risk increased to 171 per cent if it was a mutual friend.

That certainly explains me and my friends.

What’s next, yellow stars? Pink triangles?

Christopher Hume:

How appropriate that Toronto City Council should defer new taxes and that the TD Bank should release a report about the city’s economic decline on the same day.

In case there was any doubt in anyone’s mind, the GTA is not doing well. Indeed, its role as Canada’s economic powerhouse is threatened. And not just because Alberta has oil.

What we’re seeing now are the results of a decade of provincial and federal neglect — even penalization — of Toronto.

Translation:

A few articles that I’ve come across in the past few days:

• The Toronto Star has a story about the unused streetcar platform under Queen station, designed for a streetcar subway that was never built.
• Transit activist Steve Munro has details on the TTC’s plans for the Queen Street streetcar subway from the 1960s
• Accessibility activist, graphic designer, and typographer Joe Clark wants the TTC to replace its useless signage with a new signage system that’s researched and tested to prove it works.
• City Council decides not to impose new taxes that would have provided only a fraction of the almost $1 billion dollars needed to balance Toronto’s budget next year. Because money will fall from the sky if we wish hard enough.
• The economy of the Greater Toronto Areas is going to shit according to the Toronto Dominion Bank. Thanks for those high interest rates and that high dollar, Alberta!

My foot is feeling a bit better; the pain in my foot is now merely agonizing instead of excruciating. I’m wearing a silly looking shoe that I’ll be able to take off once the pain has gone, which may take another week or two. I hope it’s less.

•

Yesterday, the TTC announced plans to renovate several subway stations. The TTC calls it “modernization,” probably because they think “modernize” sounds less useless than “renovate.” In an alternate universe where the TTC wasn’t incompetent, this might be considered good news. Unfortunately we live in the real universe, the one in which these stations will look dirty and neglected a few years after the renovations are done.

As of eight o’clock this morning, I am the proud owner of a fractured fifth metatarsal.

I broke it while walking down the stairs at Wellesley station on the way to work. I missed a step and stumbled, landing on my foot wrong. There wasn’t even a crunching sound as the bone broke. I feel cheated.

If it hadn’t been for some stuff that I absolutely had to do in the morning, I would have gone straight to the hospital. Because I had to do something for someone who had flown into work just for me, I worked for around half an hour in agonizing pain and headed to Toronto Western Hospital. The entire experience from arrival at the hospital to discharge took only two hours, and that was with a few people in front of me who had much more serious injuries. So much for the horrors of the Canadian health care system.

Luckily, this kind of injury usually doesn’t require a cast; instead of a cast, they gave me a special shoe that helps keep my foot immobile. Other than that, all they could do was tell me to try to keep off it, keep it elevated, and take lots of acetaminophen for the pain. The pain will be with me for six to eight weeks, just as long as it will take to get my new sofa. Unfortunately I’ll be able to head back to work tomorrow.

That X-ray isn’t mine, but that’s what my injury looks like. Cool, huh?

4 Men’s Health:

Mark Jackson does not come across as your typical sperm swapper.

For one thing he’s 37.

For another, he’s a stocky, blue-collar worker of average stature - not the archetypal college soccer recruit.

I wouldn’t mind swapping some sperm with Mark Jackson. He’s got a purty mouth. I bet he’s got a nice uncut British banger, too.

For extra wanking material, there’s a large version of the photo of Mr. Jackson.