Big Fat Hairy Living

Subject: Greg Locke

• Big muscles: check.
• No visible abs: check.
• Shaved head: check.
• Goatee: check.
• Over 40: check.
• Greying: check.
• Cocky and arrogant: check.
• Southern American accent: check.
• Wears tight-fitting lycra: check.
• Free slutty videos on the internet: CHECK AND MATE.

British bus drivers get naked for charity.

The tattooed one is mine, bitches. Get close to him and I’ll gouge your fucking eyes out.

I have been off work since Wednesday. I don’t go back until January 2. For some reason, I’ve been thinking of work. Why is that? Maybe this man can help me figure it out:

Shawn used to say that the TTC was “hurtling towards irredeemability.” I used to disagree with him. I no longer disagree with him. In fact, they’re no longer hurtling towards iredeemability. They finished hurtling long ago.

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is turn on the TV while I make breakfast so that I can listen to the morning news and make sure there won’t be any problems getting to work. I also check just before I head out the door. This morning, the TTC bitch on the tube said both times that the subway was running smoothly.

In the 15 minutes it took to get from my front door to the train at Yonge station, somehow things had gone from “running smoothly” to “totally fucked up.” A ride that normally would have taken 20 minutes took 45 minutes because the train was constantly stopping in the tunnel. The driver helpfully told us that trains would “probably” be turning back at Victoria Park station because the third rail on the outdoor portions of the track were iced over. A cramped, crowded, slow bus shuttle service was being run instead.

Ice takes more than 15 minutes to appear. Why was that fat bitch on television telling everyone all morning that the subway was just fine when in fact it was running at half speed and was turning back? What kind of incompetent idiots are running this mickey mouse operation? Don’t answer that. I know exactly what kind of incompetent idiots run the TTC. They’re the same kind of mediocre, bean counting, penny pinching, visionless idiots who run everything in this overgrown Cleveland of a shithole.

is a pet dinosaur!

When someone who describes themselves as twisted messages you and when they list five kinky things they’re into, you think “… that’s it?”

Behind every piece of humour is a bit of truth. Someone’s sense of humour can tell you a lot about what that person thinks and believes.

This morning I was forced to come to work an hour and a half early because of a visit from a faraway executive who was involved in some kind of corporate re-organization and is the new head of the division I work in. He wanted to have an early meeting with my department, so that meant I had to get up way too early. That didn’t put me in a good mood.

Usually I’m pretty quiet and acquiescent at work: why bother getting worked up about all kinds of stuff that’s out of my control? But when the new overlord started berating one of the engineers I work with for objecting that one of the assumptions he’s made in his reorganization plan hasn’t worked out in the past, I couldn’t stand to watch it. I piped in and told him that instead of lecturing, maybe he should listen to employees who try to tell him that there are problems. Who ever would have thought that an executive from a country like China would act in such an authoritarian way? I was shocked!

I actually was happy with the way the meeting turned out until just a minute ago. The meeting is now over, and my the boss of my boss, an American who reports to the new overlord and who was in the meeting, just walked by my desk on the way to another meeting and playfully slapped the back of my chair with a rolled up piece of paper. “Behave yourself!” he said, chuckling.

MESSAGE RECEIVED.

Jamal Badawi, Islamic Society of North America, speaking on whether women in Islamic countries should have the right not to wear the hijab:

“One cannot say I support the ‘right’ to disregard the teaching of Islam.”

Shianne Phillips, friend of 16 year old Aqsa Parvez, whose father is charged with having murdered her for believing that she had the ‘right’ not to wear a hijab:

“She just wanted freedom, freedom from her parents.”

Seriously, I wonder what it’s like to be that stupid.