Big Fat Hairy Living

Tonight on the six o’clock news on CBC there was a boring story about a championship cheerleading squad. Boring until they started talking about the former football player who joined the squad. I provide you screen caps:

Mark thinks he’s delicious.

My commenting policy here is pretty liberal. I let people post anonymously and I let people say pretty much what they want as long as it doesn’t get too flamey. In the past, I’ve been pretty lenient, simply warning people to tone it down when they insult me or my friends.

I’ve gotten a few snarky insults lately and I’m getting tired of it. I encourage people to call me out when I make a mistake, but I don’t want to have to deal with people who resort to insults without bothering to talk things over first. I’m wrong a lot of the time and I’ve always encouraged people to call me on my shit, but there’s a limit to what I’ll tolerate. If you go directly to sarcasm under a fake name, call me anti-intellectual for disliking the Bible, or accuse me of holding back the women’s movement with a blog post, you’ll find your ability to post comments revoked. My level of tolerance will be much lower for people who post under obviously fake names rather than real names or established pseudonyms.

I’m full of human faults — probably more than most people — but I try to deal with my shortcomings. I can be hypocritical. I often fail. I’m not perfect. But because I post a few paragraphs on a web site every once in a while, some seem to feel that it’s all right to snark at me rather than treat me like a regular human being.

My place, my rules. Challenge me all you want, but piss me off and you’re gone.

Every time I hear someone say that Pride Parades are obsolete or hear some bigoted homophobe complain that there are no straight pride parades, I’ll point them to a new Statistics Canada Study:

Gays, lesbians and bisexuals reported higher rates of victimization by violence than heterosexuals in 2004 – including sexual assault, robbery and physical assault … The odds of being victimized by violence were nearly two times greater for gays and lesbians and 4.5 times greater for bisexuals than they were for heterosexuals.

Legal equality doesn’t protect one from getting beaten up by violent homophobes.

Tonight, like many nights over the past six months, I will be visited by my newest regular fuck buddy, a 6′ 3″ tall muscle bear with biceps as thick as my neck. I’m unable to tell you anything about him, so unfortunately you’ll have to do without pictures. All I can tell you is that he’s really, really hot and that he never calls me by my name. I’m just “boy.”

Unfortunately, he’s visiting me while I’m still recovering from some dental work. Yesterday afternoon I went to get a cavity filled, and not only did the dentist find another cavity in the adjacent tooth, but he also discovered that the tooth he’d intended to fill will need a root canal. He filled up the bad tooth with some medicated dental putty then had me schedule another appointment for the root canal. Last night, the pain was bad enough that I didn’t even want to lick Mark’s balls or suck on his nipples. We snuggled in bed and talked instead.

The worst part of it isn’t the root canal, but needing to be careful with the temporary filling. I’m supposed to avoid eating anything particularly crisp or crunchy, and I’m supposed to avoid eating on that side of my mouth as much as possible. This means that when my muscle bear fuck buddy unzips his jeans and hauls out his thick, uncircumcised penis, all I’ll be able to do will be to lick it a bit. He’ll be forced to forgo my mouth and ram his donkey-sized genitals into my ass instead. At least he’ll still be able to punch and slap me below the neck.

Julia Allison, Dating Columnist, Time Out New York:

Every time I watched “King of Queens,” I was confused. The husband, an overweight UPS delivery guy, is married to a certifiably hot brunette with a tight body, whom he regularly asks to strip (is this normal married couple behavior? I would ask my parents, but that’s disgusting). At first, I dismissed it, like the beer commercials featuring balding, pot-bellied men cavorting with Tara Reid look-alikes. They’re just Disproportionately Attractive TV Couples — they could never exist in the real world. Or could they?

I look around New York, and everywhere I see gorgeous women with only moderately attractive — or even downright unattractive — men. Even celebrity culture has these couples: Kate Hudson and (now ex) Chris Robinson, Billy Joel and any of his wives, the Barkers on MTV (although he seems sweet), Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Tesse.

Excuse me, bitch, but have you ever thought that maybe you have shitty taste in men, and that the fact that you think that anyone who’s not metrosexual is “gross” means that you’re shallow and pathetic?

Blah, blah, blah, Fake Steve Jobs Turtleneck. Who cares about the sweater? Check out the guy wearing it!

Not the other way around?

The dumbing down of modern culture:

Walking home to her Upper East Side apartment, [author Susan Jacoby] said, overwhelmed and confused, she stopped at a bar. As she sipped her bloody mary, she quietly listened to two men, neatly dressed in suits. For a second she thought they were going to compare that day’s [September 11, 2001] horrifying attack to the Japanese bombing in 1941 that blew America into World War II:

“This is just like Pearl Harbor,” one of the men said.

The other asked, “What is Pearl Harbor?”

“That was when the Vietnamese dropped bombs in a harbor, and it started the Vietnam War,” the first man replied.

Sigh:

“The mind of this country, taught to aim at low objects, eats upon itself.” Ralph Waldo Emerson offered that observation in 1837, but his words echo with painful prescience in today’s very different United States. Americans are in serious intellectual trouble — in danger of losing our hard-won cultural capital to a virulent mixture of anti-intellectualism, anti-rationalism and low expectations.

This is the last subject that any candidate would dare raise on the long and winding road to the White House. It is almost impossible to talk about the manner in which public ignorance contributes to grave national problems without being labeled an “elitist,” one of the most powerful pejoratives that can be applied to anyone aspiring to high office.

And the Conservatives here in Canada are doing their best to hurry the same phenomenon along here too.